I am grateful that I know where to place what I cannot control...

Have you ever found yourself carrying something simply because you care deeply about how it turns out?

I have.

And sometimes I have had to remind myself that caring about an outcome does not mean I can control it.

There are things I can influence.

Things I can prepare for.

Choices I can make.

Actions I can take.

Then there are things that, no matter how much I think about them, are simply beyond me.

So today:

I am grateful that I know where to place what I cannot control.

Because I can do what is mine to do, make the choices that are mine to make, and trust God with what remains beyond my sight.

There is something freeing about that for me.

Not freedom from responsibility.

Freedom from believing I have to carry the outcome too.

What Is Actually Mine to Do?

When something matters to me, I can think about it from every possible angle.

I’m sure you’re the same, or perhaps you know someone who is.

We replay it.

We anticipate.

We think about what might happen, what could happen and what we might need to do if it does.

And before we realise it, we can be carrying far more than what is actually ours to carry.

But I’m learning something:

Thinking about something more does not necessarily give me more control over it.

Sometimes, it simply takes more of my attention.

So I have learned to ask myself:

What is actually mine to do here?

Is there a conversation I need to have?

A decision I need to make?

Something I need to prepare?

Someone I need to ask for help?

A next step I can take?

If there is, I want to do it.

And then comes the part I am still practising:

Letting that be enough.

Responsibility Does Not Mean Control

This has been such an important distinction for me.

I can take responsibility for my part without taking responsibility for the whole outcome.

I can prepare well without controlling how somebody responds.

I can make a thoughtful decision without knowing exactly where it will lead.

I can show up fully without guaranteeing the result.

I can do my part without doing everybody else’s.

And I can pray without knowing exactly how God will answer.

That is not giving up!

For me, that is recognising where my responsibility ends and where trust begins.

I Can Trust God and Still Participate

My faith does not ask me to sit back and do nothing.

Quite the opposite.

I can pray and plan.

I can trust and act.

I can have faith and still take the next step.

I can do what is mine to do and place what is not mine into God’s hands.

And there is peace in being able to say:

I have done what I can do today.

Tomorrow may require something else from me.

But I do not have to carry tomorrow today.

That sentence is one I need to remember too.

Perhaps You Need This Reminder Too

Maybe there is something taking up more space in your thinking than you would like.

Something you care deeply about.

Something you are waiting for.

Something you are trying to make happen.

Something you wish you could resolve.

Ask yourself:

What is mine to do?

What can I influence but not control?

What do I need to trust God with?

You may discover that you are not as stuck as you thought.

Perhaps your mind has simply been trying to carry the action, the outcome and everything in between.

That is a lot to carry.

Sometimes clarity comes when we separate them.

Do what is yours.

Release what is not.

And keep moving.

Brain Health Insight

Our brains naturally like resolution.

When something is unfinished or uncertain, our attention can keep returning to it.

So give your brain somewhere useful to place it.

Try two simple headings:

Mine to do.

Not mine to control.

Under the first, write your next action.

Under the second, write what you are choosing not to keep mentally solving today.

You are not ignoring it.

You are protecting your cognitive capacity for what actually needs you now.

And this is something I bring into my coaching too.

Sometimes we do not need someone to give us another solution.

We need the right question, the right framework and the space to recognise which part of the situation actually belongs to us.

Once that becomes clearer, so can the next step!

#IChoose

#IChoose to take responsibility for what is mine without carrying responsibility for what is beyond my control.

I will do what is mine to do.

Make the choices that are mine to make.

Take the next step available to me.

And trust God with the rest.

If You Remember One Thing…

Caring deeply does not require carrying everything.

You can care and still release the outcome.

You can prepare and still trust.

You can act without controlling what happens next.

You can take your next step without having to see the whole journey.

So today, I am reminding myself too:

• Do what is mine to do.

• Choose what is mine to choose.

• Trust God with what I cannot yet see.

And that is why today:

I am grateful that I know where to place what I cannot control.

Because ultimately, what is beyond my control is not beyond God!

With Gratitude,

Your Friend and Coach,

Annabel