Locked down but no longer locked up



But you look so normal!! and I do...and I am...well my NOW new normal!

Have a conversation with me and I will engage! Ask me a question and I will answer! Send me on a task - and I will do it...eventually! Yet on my inside - the battles that I face and have with myself, the frustration, the annoyance, the uncertainties! All because of my memory! I cannot trust what I remember or think I remember! It’s not been easy to share my feelings and the struggles that I face because I’ve not wanted to be a burden. Particularly when you can hear through the tone of ones response - their irritation and annoyance of answering the same question AGAIN! Or the fact that it’s been however many years since the aneurysm- so get over it!!! So I locked up! The Game Changer! The Game Changer for me has ironically been this lock down! The Corona Virus 19 lockdown!! I had to face myself squarely in the mirror. Locked down and locked up! I then recalled a flood of conversations/talks that I had had with my neuropsychologist, during my husbands numerous masterminds (including his powerful ‘Never Waste a Crisis’ talk) and my one to one with God. I couldn’t allow myself to remain the same! I couldn’t allow my girls to see their mother suppressed, oppressed or depressed in this season! Or in fact ever! I therefore decided to stand up to myself! Looking in the mirror and said! #Ichoose to come out of this and any other crisis I face better than how I entered! #Ichoose to seek, search and find opportunities every single day! #Ichoose to look up and no longer be locked up! #Ichoose to remain vulnerable and share this journey with you so that you know that you are not alone! #Ichoose to unlock, embrace and love this new me!

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