Lost in thought in my mind.
There have been times where I am driving and I forget where i am heading. In those moments I used to get annoyed, angry and upset. Asking myself why can’t I just remember the smallest things! There are other times where I am driving and I get to a roundabout. I’d find myself going round and round and round and round the roundabout asking myself where am I going again? What am I supposed to be doing again? I would take a ‘punt’ and take an exit. Still digging deep into my memory as per where I’m supposed to be going! In these moments, what I found quite funny and at the same time amazing, was that as soon as i made the decision to take a particular exit (even when I still was not sure of where I was heading), as soon as I made that move I would (more often than not) remember where I was going. So picture this, I’ve left home with a purpose and destination, I either get lost a long the way or I‘d lose sight of where I’m supposed to be going. I would approach a round about. As long as I continued going round and round and round the roundabout I wouldn’t remember! On the other hand, in spite of my irritation, annoyance and anger, I questioned myself, digging deep into my memory and refusing to go back home or call my husband. I was critical, so critical of myself for not remembering, not remembering to write it down. Or even writing it down, but not remembering where I wrote it or where I put the paper that I wrote it on! It was like a vicious circle! Eventually, once I had calmed myself down (still going round the roundabout), I would make a decision to take an exit. In that moment of choosing and taking the exit, I would remember! I would remember where I was heading! I tested this a few times. As long as I took action, I would eventually remember! Even in uncertainty, take action! It’s in the actions that one takes that you then receive answers/clarity over what needs to be done. Therefore, I choose to take action even when I am uncertain about what to do or where to go. I choose not to be hard or critical of myself, period. I choose to make decisions knowing that clarity will eventually show itself as long as I take action!